Ask A Therapist: How Do I Cope with Fear of Failure and Start Taking Risks?
Overcoming Self-Doubt and Embracing Growth Through Courageous Action
Published on
Feb 7, 2025
Understand the Root of Your Fear
The fear of failure is often rooted in deeper insecurities, such as the fear of being judged, rejected, or disappointing others. Sometimes it’s a fear of being perceived as inadequate or not good enough. To address this fear, it’s important to understand its origins. Ask yourself:
What am I really afraid of?
Why does failure feel so threatening to me? By examining your fear, you can begin to challenge and reframe it.
Many people view failure as something to avoid at all costs, but failure is an essential part of growth. Reframe your view of failure as a learning opportunity rather than a personal reflection of your worth. Recognize that mistakes and setbacks are natural parts of the journey toward success. When you view failure as a stepping stone to learning, you’ll feel less threatened.
Start Small and Take Incremental Risks
You don’t have to take huge risks all at once. Start by taking small, manageable steps outside your comfort zone. For example, if you’re afraid of public speaking, begin by speaking in front of a small group of friends or colleagues. Gradually increase the size of your audience or the difficulty of the challenge. With each success, no matter how small, your confidence will grow, and you’ll become more comfortable with taking risks.
Challenge Negative Self-Talk
Fear of failure is often fueled by negative self-talk, such as “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never succeed.” This type of thinking can keep you stuck in a cycle of self-doubt. Challenge these negative thoughts by asking yourself if they’re based on facts or assumptions. Replace them with more balanced, positive affirmations such as “I am capable of learning from failure” or “I have the resilience to handle setbacks.”
Image courtesy via Lummi
Instead of focusing solely on the result, shift your focus to the effort you put in and the progress you make. Celebrate the process, not just the outcome. For example, instead of saying, “I’ll only feel good if I succeed,” say, “I will feel proud of myself for trying, regardless of the result.” By focusing on effort over perfection, you permit yourself to take risks without the pressure of needing to succeed every time.
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